Post Title. 12/13/2011
The fortieth day, looking back and looking forward The treatments have now been completed and I only need to regain my strength. The time went by quickly and as funny as this may sound, I will miss the morning routine. It has been recommended that I take four to five weeks of recovery time now that the treatments are completed. At this time I realize that time is necessary as I am completely run down. I hope I don’t sleep for a month. Moving forward, my first order of business is to thank everyone who has been following this blog. I have received many emails commenting on my daily ramblings. I even had a few that suggested I should continue once the treatments have ended. I will comment further on that later in this blog. I must also thank the radiation staff. The professionals in treatment room one are second to none. Not a single day went by that they did not give one hundred percent. Even on days when things did not go well like having to take overflow patients when a machine in another treatment room broke down. Or when people would nag about being a bit behind schedule, would they forget that they were pros. Not even a fire down the hall could rattle their nerves. Needless to say I have to thank my support team, Penny and Noelle. I’m sure there must have been times when I tried their patience. Certainly on my down days I likely could have been more pleasant, thanks again everyone for your contribution toward saving my life. At this time I guess it becomes a waiting game. My next scheduled appointment is March eighth for blood work, at which time they will check my PSA level. After that I have an appointment on March twenty second to see the doctor. A three month state of limbo hoping the radiation has worked and worrying about a positive outcome. I will stay positive and do whatever I can to promote healing. Now that I have been through another bout of cancer, still not knowing what the outcome will be I am going to make some changes. No one knows how much time they have left to live. Not even young healthy people really know when their time will come. With this in mind, my next personal challenge is to live a healthy life style and make the most of my remaining time. I have not done very well at this in the past so to go public like this may be setting me up for failure. I am more positive about beating cancer than at this latest challenge, as it will mean a complete change of habits. Certainly it will be a reversal of everything I’ve done in my life. I find this concept more frightening than dealing with cancer. My positive attitude, personal strength and commitment will be tested to the limit if I’m to succeed. As mentioned early in this installment, I have been asked to continue blogging. I have decided to do a weekly blog and photo on this my latest self imposed “Healthy Living” commitment. Potential readers should be forewarned the blog may at times, become a pity party for Vic. And know I may be whining as I make my way down the difficult and challenging, healthy living path of life. I promise I will keep you posted on the new healthy living lifestyle challenge as well as the outcome of the cancer situation. As stated I should have some clue what’s up by mid March. I will let you know then, come what may. Life goes on! 6 Comments Post Title. 12/12/2011
Day 39 Today is a day to celebrate, reflect and pray. Celebration is due as I have just completed my last of thirty nine radiation treatments. In mid October when I started it seemed like forever to get to this point, but here we are. I feel the need to reflect on what I have been through but more importantly, reflect on what got me into this mess in the first place. Could it have been heredity, lifestyle or luck of the draw? I feel prayer is necessary, for I have been blessed with a great group of supporters in both my personal life through to the medical people who are on my side. I am extremely thankful for that. Prayer is also needed as the next three months is a waiting game to see if the radiation has worked. When I think of the premise of celebration, reflection and prayer I can’t help but look to the future and imagine the world without cancer. How great would it be if we no longer needed cancer facilities? Think of the celebration, if the researchers and oncology staff could move on and tackle other areas of medicine. Thanks to all who have been reading along as I rambled on every day. I will be posting again tomorrow. I have a bit of a recap to present and an announcement to go along with it. Today’s photo depicts a radiation machine fading into obscurity. It is a combination of photographs, one from today and one from Friday. Wouldn’t be great if we only saw these machines in medical museums? Life goes on! Post Title. 12/09/2011
Day 38 I promise this blog installment won’t be too long. I once again find myself too tired to be very long winded. The purpose of today’s blog is primarily to explain the photo I will be posting today. The picture is of the radiation machine in treatment room one. I went through the routine in an earlier writing so I will merely recap rather than be too in depth. I lay on the table of the machine which is covered with a sheet. The table then moves well back toward the machine head. If you look at the wall in the picture the laser light can be seen. These lasers lines up on my side tattoos while the laser seen on the machine lines up on the tattoo on my lower front torso. Once everything lines up a quick scan of the internal organs is done and the treatment begins. The next step is for the machine head to rotate toward the floor as the start position is machine head under me shooting up. While the treatment is being done I lay still and the machine head revolves completely around first counter clock wise to the stop the clock wise to the initial starting position. Who think this stuff up? Life goes on! Post Title. 12/08/2011
Day 37 I believe life is precious. I’m of the opinion that one should live and die with dignity. In 2003 when I was dealing with colol rectal cancer and again in June when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer Penny and I had our “what if” talk. After each of these chats I said that I would not be negative again throughout the process. In this the latest round of cancer our talk included not wanting hospice care if by chance things went sideways for me. Instead I suggested I would like to die in a meadow, perhaps propped up against a tree overlooking a serene lake with still blue water. Of course Penny had some objections, “the hospice staff members are experts at pain control.” My reply, “bring them along.” Then she suggested, “It would be difficult to remove my body.” No problem, “leave me there for the crow coyotes and other wildlife.” I felt this was a win, win situation. Feed the wildlife and not have to carry any dead weight. “What about the bones?” I had a comeback for that objection too, “leave them then in a couple of years some young boys will find them, it will be a great adventure that they will talk about for years to come.” I found the scenario hilarious while Penny saw no humor in it. I suspect people change their minds from time to time. Prior to my first bout with cancer I had entered into a pact with a friend. If either of us were to be incapacitated by terminal illness we would simply arrange a hunting accident. You know an easy to explain, I thought he was a deer kind of thing. Back in 2003 I had cancer surgery on a Friday, on Saturday he came to visit. I was absolutely unaware that he and his wife where there. I slept through the entire visit, so they would have seen me lying in bed with tubes, pumps and other medical attachments working away. It was likely not a pretty sight. My first realization of their visit was when I discovered a note on my pillow from my friend’s wife telling of how she had prevented him from smothering me while I slept. Due to that close call, the consequences of euthanasia and my new found hospice in a meadow idea, I have changed my mind on the hunting accident concept. I will include some words I jotted down several years ago about assisted suicide. I wrote this after an acquaintance died a much undignified death. I am positive that I will beat this cancer as I did in 2003. I still have a good attitude and again this time I have a great support system and medical staff. Life goes on! Our Flawed System By Vic Whitcroft I took no pleasure in the deed As I sat and watched him die Save, I knew by then his soul was freed He glanced and tried to say goodbye Free from the body that held him bound He’s now in a painless place A favor for some that may confound He slumped, no expression on his face Tired of being a burden to his wife The system left him disenchanted A desire to end his life His wish, it was granted No return from his disease No justice for the practitioner A concept that spreads ill ease Another day for deaths commissioner Never before did I take this action As I wonder was I right The end was to his satisfaction Repeat it for another, I just might In haste we must get him in his plot Then act like common mourners Cremation means I won’t get caught Unless poison is detected by the coroner To sum it up I had an obligation To help a lifelong friend Now I pray for my salvation When my life comes to an end That end is coming very soon On that I’ve had time to dwell For my death comes today at noon As I wait alone in this prison cell Post Title. 12/07/2011
Day 36 Today was another day of sleep. After returning from Kitchener I was so tired I could not do anything but snooze. Here it is just six thirty PM and I can say it won’t be long before I am ready for bed, as I find myself continuing to be quite tuckered out. Based on recent trends, I can count on a bout of fatigue every other day or so. I was warned this would be the norm for at least a month after the treatments end. I’m not sure if it’s the change in seasonal temperature or the treatments but I seem cold all the time now too. I guess I won’t bore you any more today. I have only three more blogs to go until the end of my thirty nine days of treatments. What will I do then? Hmmm! Life goes on! Post Title. 12/06/2011
Day 35 Tuesday is the day I see the doctor or nurse. As it turns out it is my last appointment until March, given my treatments end on Monday of next week. The nurse looked at my progress and suggested that I have “cruised through” the radiation. I hate to jinx anything but she is right. Outside of the fatigue I have complained about I have no problems of any kind. I was warned this morning that problems could arise after the radiation has ended, but it’s unlikely. So with that said I just have to get through four more treatments and my time will have been served. Then parole until March when I have total freedom from cancer. I prefer to think of the last statement as positive attitude not cockiness. A man who has been around almost since the start of my treatments is not doing as well. Today he needed assistance with his coat and is now walking with a cane. It’s terrible to see what cancer does to people, and to know sometimes the cure contributes in ravaging the body while beating the disease. It makes me sad. Life goes on! Post Title. 12/05/2011
Day 34 Today’s treatment went well and was fifteen minutes ahead of time if several hours behind time can be considered ahead. Confused, so am I? I had no idea that routine is so important in my everyday goings on. Each day I arrive early for my appointment at around nine to nine thirty AM. I try to park in the same spot each day and have a routine once inside the cancer centre which includes checking to see if they are on schedule, making sure my bladder is full and so on. Call it OCD if you must but that is what works for me. Friday I get a call late in the afternoon to tell me my Monday appointment has been re-schedules for five fifteen PM. I think no troubles I will sleep in, catch up on some rest, easy. I didn’t need to catch up on any rest as Sunday I slept twelve hours but nonetheless I would make the best of my time on Monday. I was wrong! I could not tell left from right or stop from go. Today has been completely off kilter. My parking spot was taken, it was dark when I came out and I was the last treatment of the day. This just is not right. Oh well five treatments left and so far all scheduled for nine thirty. Life goes on! Post Title. 12/02/2011
Day 33 On October eighteenth when I started on the road of radiation treatments, thirty nine days seemed like forever. I now have just six treatments remaining. Time has flown by and friendships have been made. I felt a bit out of place today as the waiting room today was occupied mostly by woman. I see three guys each day two that are in treatment room two and one in the same room that I go in. One chap had a late appointment today so he was not there, thus more women than men today. One of the women I spoke with is from out of town with a two hundred kilometer commute, one way. Because of the distance she stays in the lodge provided by the cancer centre. I had not met this lady before as her appointment times vary greatly. As we talked she went on to say the she has lung cancer and is taking radiation and well as chemo. As unfortunate as it is for her to have this disease she told me that the day after her diagnosis was confirmed her sister was also confirmed to have lung cancer. Next week I will be completing the “Faces of cancer” portraits and will post them. Each person featured in the faces will be a cancer survivor. Each will also have the date they were diagnosed along with their first name. At nearly eleven PM this is my latest post in thirty three days. I slept away some of the afternoon and most of the evening. No more late posts, I promise. Life goes on! Post Title. 12/01/2011
Day 32 Today has been a good day, I’m not even too worn out yet and it’s four thirty in the afternoon as I write this. In the past I have talked briefly about the staff in treatment room one. As mentioned treatment room one is the room I am in unless something is broken. I have missed only one treatment in room one in now what has been thirty two days. The radiation staff who I have dealt with most often is Tiffany, Bruce, Sandra and Chris. These people are true professionals and very dedicated to their patients. Yesterday I observed Bruce dealing with a woman who I believe was in for her first treatment. He was reassuring and made her look at ease with what can be a frightening process on the first appointment. Tiffany is caring and kind and genuinely interested in how I am. Sandra is innovative. It seems I’m lop sided to the left, as each day I get rolled right. Her suggestion to situate myself to the right as I lay on the bed has streamlined the daily routine. Although Chris has worked with me fewer times than the others he shows his professionalism in his concern for me as I go through the program. No one wants to be in this situation however, if one must go through radiation it’s good to have great people working on your team. Thanks to these professionals for their care and attention throughout the past thirty two days. By the way they don’t know I’m am blogging about my treatment. My plan will be to tell them on the final day. As I hand out business cards with the website address. I would imagine that the radiation staff doesn’t think about it much nevertheless they are life savers. Thanks again guys! Life goes on! Post Title. 11/30/2011
Day 31 This visit is going to be short. We went to see the Canadian Pacific Christmas Train and I’m tired. Did I say Christmas Train? Surely it must be the Holiday train or so CP says. No political correctness here, I said Christmas train. Anyway it was a fun outing and the train was great. We were in a muddy field next to the track and until the train arrived we could not even see to walk. The organized parking was to simply abandon the car at a feed store and make our way with the crowd. We assumed they knew where they were going. It was a fun evening and a great end to a fantastic day. Life goes on! | AuthorI'm not a blogger just a guy who has cancer and a few words to pass along. ArchivesDecember 2011 Categories |
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